doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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