Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
