Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
