Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize