I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
