you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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