I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize