Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize