the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize