I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
