I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just invented taco cereal.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
