My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Randomize
