dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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