Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
