Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
