If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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