Already got asked if we're dating
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
