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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
