It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
