Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
