theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
this hospital has no fireball
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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