thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
