he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
