My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Randomize
