Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
