U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
