The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize