I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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