he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
