Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize