the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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