Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
