this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
