I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Slut skills are useful in every country.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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