Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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