Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
