I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
