Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
