so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Randomize
