im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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