why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
