went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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