There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize