i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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