ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
