It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
