i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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