Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
