it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
