Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
