My friends, they love my intelligence
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
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