I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
