I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize