OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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