Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
do herpes really smell.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
