I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
my being single is dangerous.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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