So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
