My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
