ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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