turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
