Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize