At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
whose parrot is this?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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