I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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