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did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
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