He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
