I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
